Monday, December 13, 2010

LOSE YOURSELF

LOSE YOURSELF

Tearing the sleep my eyelids open
To see you gripped onto your couch
That manly charade covered with innocence
Triggers me to launch…

I cover you with a blanket and kiss your forehead
Quickly do you draw yourself inwards
The ‘you’ now is so charming that
Even your lull speaks a thousand words…

How you have been there whenever I needed you
Sometimes as hanky and sometimes as bolster
Always a shoulder to lay my head and weep
Shooing away my worry monster…

Ever ready to share things
And to celebrate my victory
Surprising me with chivalric gifts
Weaving beautifully my life-story…

You maximized my happiness and
Minimized my pains
Certain was I with you
That noting goes in vain…

Thinking this, tears roll down my eyes
To not have recognized you so far
And I’m wondering whether
I ever can make it at par…

Because all I expected was a mere friendship
And a relationship of beautiful understanding
But you proved yourself
To be outstanding…

How is it that you know me so well
That my needs were met before said
Why are you being so nice without receiving anything
“What if I never like you the way you do?? “ don’t you dread…

I part myself from you, to the groceries
To start with my daily chores and to make you a tea
In the cupboard I find a torn note
Dated 4th July and here it goes:

“Happy Birthday Sweetheart
Enjoy your day fully
And as you wanted
Today is Sunday, thankfully…

All I wanna say is
I’ll strive till the end to win your heart
Because I’m blessed to have you in my life
And all I want is HAMEESHA YOUR SAATH “…

I hear your foot steps
Nearing the kitchen
Hurriedly I crumble the note
And hide it under the ignition…

An assurance that I discovered nothing
And everything is the same
We have the morning tea
And begin with our daily game…

Within an hour you leave home
And now it’s just me and my note
Wondering how do I let out that
I too feel the same as what you wrote…

The day passes and there you return
Weary and tired you enter the apartment
I get you, your evening snack
But today is a little different…

I sit beside you and not diagonally opposite
Unlike the usual “we”
Slowly I hold your hand as I look down
And you look at me…

Turning my neural vocabulary pages
Surprised to find them plain
You wonder what’s wrong with me
That’s strangling my vein…

I with a heavy voice call out to him
And tell him how much I regret to not have understood
That he attended all my frantic calls
And ran up to wherever I stood…

I say this with my head bent
And can see his head lowering too
Trying to make an eye contact
And heart of heart I feel “HOW CUTE”…

He slowly lifts my head
And says in a gentle tone
“Don’t feel sorry and regret
I’m glad you realized it so soon“ …

He continued saying
“This day is very special for me
As I have finally succeeded
And this calls on for a treat”…

Seeing this again
Tears drop down my eyes
Looking at me he smile
Raising his arm to wipe…

Settling down for dinner
It was a different feeling that day
Both of us so damn happy
And with loads to share…

This was a beginning of a new story
A new journey for “us”
And adventure with loads of love, care, happiness
And little fights, drama and fuss!!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

SELF RENAISSANCE

SELF RENAISSANCE

Eyes are closed
Hands are joined
I bow my head
And silently cry…

I see myself amidst fog
Fog of dullness miseries and misfortune
Weepy as I ask
“Oh God… when can I hear my summer tune…??”

I know I alone am not suffering
Since many are there in this world
I know “you” wanna make me tougher
I fear what if all goes in vain…

Gradually as I retreat to the door
I’m taken aback
Just to find the door shut
And that I’m trapped…

I turn towards that tiny idol
And wonder in desolation
“Are you with me ?? “
Because this orphan has no habitation…

As nature’s execution is prefixed
Upon me befalls another boulder
I’m standing alone in a dark room
With no supporting shoulder…

I cry aloud
I bang my head
But the vacuum room also
Is turning against the “dead”…

Unconscious there I lay
With no further hope
Towards that structured mud I stretch my hand
Like a dope…

Scornfully I question “What have you done for me ??”
“What are you doing now ??”
“What possibly can you do ??"
“Because like me you’re a corpse too"…

After this utter of yell
The room is in silence
Only a peaceful sound of breath
And emergence of a faint brightness…

With not much time its all bright and sunny
Air filled with fragrance and my breathe as sweet as honey
Unknowingly I’m up, gripped to ground
With my weary wrinkles ripped and mentally strong…

Calls out to me a soothing tune
Surrounds me a veil of care
Gushingly flows within me an energy
And a warning calling “Dare you scare"…

“Honey… life is meaningless;
If it were to be just happiness
And this is not permanent but transient
As, after dawn follows darkness…

Everything you encounter has a purpose,
And everything that befalls isn’t beyond your control
Because hidden beneath is a small lesson
So even when gloomy just tumble and roll…

Never cease you belief in me
Because never will I betray you
I…the creator and destroyer
Will ensure that your downfall is sued… “

A terrible jerk that sheds my dream
And I open my eyes to find an empty train
As I step out on the platform
It starts to rain…

As I walk back home that day
Preoccupied with that strange dream
I enter my apartment
And sit down with my cappuccino that has extra cream…

Sipping my coffee
I feel a little different
Because first time in last 6 months
I feel as if I paid off my hunger rent…

My tummy is filled completely
Refreshed after a warm shower
I proceed to my resting chamber
Cozily I slip into my blanket cover…

Awaken by a new morning
Filled with new hopes and aspiration
I look at the new me in the mirror and say –
“Beware dull and gloomy days… now starts my mission… that is…
YOUR TERMINATION… “

Monday, September 6, 2010

A GIRL’S STORY

As a toddler I crawled around,
People around me to surround…

Timely food, sleep and endless care,
Of which then nothing could I share…

Grew I into a kid,
Still better off and well fed…

Demanded many chocolates and toys,
Playing around with young girls and pulling legs of boys…

Gradually does this innocence dissolves,
As young girl I turn into…

Many problems arise for me to resolve,
Because that phase of life is new too…

My demands conflict my desires,
For the world seem to satire…

Prominent becomes restlessness and impatience that wasn’t my identity hitherto,
Since my apparent rights are against the virtues…

But like passing clouds does this phase pass,
And I turn into a mature big girl…

Big enough to decide between right and wrong,
To match steps with my mum and walk along…

Mature enough to discuss issues that were once adult talks,
And take a road that was supposed to have weird walks…

Today I question how life turned out this way,
How this fetus grew up this way…

What I learnt is endless in this journey so far,
Which has certainly put me at par…

Exuberant am I for this wonderful experience,
But hold on there is more to this unfolded suspense…

***

Saturday, September 4, 2010

SOMETHINGS I NEVER THOUGHT !?!

Some unfamiliar face,
Becomes so important in life…
Hobbies doesn’t interest anymore,
And heart longs for the person’s sight…

You are assured your loopholes are overlooked,
And there is someone to always cheer you…
Nostalgic you get in his absence,
And at such point your mind question’s “is this all true ?? ”

Is it really gonna work,
Does this relation actually have a worth…
Will years down the line you won’t drift apart,
Are you sure this isn’t hollow and dearth…

Mind plays rapid fire,
Silence adds fuel to the fire…
Heart starts imagining unworthy scenarios,
Entire world swirls faster than truck’s tier…

Suddenly you feel lonely and isolated,
And millimeter grows into kilo meters…
Life seems useless and desolate,
Is there nothing that could make things any neater ??

Seeing you low some enjoy,
Some are ignorant and don’t bother…
And some for courtesy sake come and cry,
But that someone stands behind you, waiting for you to turn and vent out your worries and fears…

In the longing of someone to come and ask you,
You surpass the one who is ready…
You never went and shared,
And you complained that no one was steady…

That one familiar face,
Stands with hanky and his shoulder…
But your pre-occupied mind induces inertia,
You resist sharing, wondering what if this brings cracks in the boulder…

Fearing what if sharing ruins my life,
What if the idea of being his gal takes a turn…
Fear of being rejected takes toll,
And all this ill treasures within you burn…

One day out of blue you blurt things out,
Unable to bear the pressure…
On that unfamiliar face you shout,
Just to see, that, calm and composed face with a soothing smile as ‘your treasure’…

In a soft tone he calls out your name,
And says “baby never think all this, I’m there for you always”
For once your heart skips a beat and everything adds on to your fame,
You want world to come to a standstill, moment to stop and desire this ambience to stay…

That feel of warmth,
The touch of security…
The assurance of love,
And that sense of maturity…

At that point you don’t crib to have misunderstood that ‘someone’,
Rather you thank your transient mood…
That made ‘your’ unfamiliar face so special,
In return you get a moment of celebration, a display of true care that no one, could…

You get more than you expected,
And you feel blessed…
To have found that ‘unfamiliar face’,
Which became so important in life…

***

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

AS LIFE COMES TO A STAND-STILL

To many faces around,
Very difficult to judge..
Suffocate me as they surround,
And gradually pull e in sludge…

Days have gone by,
Since I have been alone, quiet and calm..
Secretly now when I sigh,
My conscience also disapproves of my sound…

Admist the chaos I’m not able to prioritize,
What is that I actually want..
This part of my life is not categorized,
Because in the end I only daunt…

God !!! Give me a break from this stalk,
Because I can’t take it anymore..
Unworthy and unwanted elements can take a walk,
Since this heart is already sore…

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

THE FADING TRAIL

THE FADING TRAIL

In today’s world where everybody is advancing with light year speed somewhere down the line one can find the traditions, religion, buried alive. The ritual that are now R.I.P were lifestyle defining virtues of an individual, a provider of distinct individuality, a veil of protectiveness, a discrimination of good and bad….

Virtues calls for renouncement of worldly pleasures on the contrary people are renouncing their basic identity. The customs can go for a life time exile , now a days no one is bothered !!
Guys let just pack because the countryside trail is loosing its worth.
IT’S FADING TO BECOME A HISTORY !!



Good morning replaced by wake up alarms
Kicking your bed spread raising your arm…

The clock strikes 7:00 and it kicks your head
Running off for your errands mouth stuffed with bread…

Returns home the tired dodo
After performing his work in solo…

Sitting at the dinner table everybody is “busy”
Kids with mobiles, mom with curry, dad with T.V. …

No family time no mutual talk
Everything apart from nuisance can take a walk…

Are they helpless or the time ??
Loosing worth are the prime…

Advancing technology is on high
Hence people turn deaf when other sigh…

No one is spared of this pre occupation
From womb to tomb every place has become its destination…

Keeping up with the lightening pace
Everybody wanting to win the race…

In the end relations loose their purity
Aspiring psychologists you have got strong job security…

Endangered are not only the animal species but also we
Ignorant of the flowering plants we are reaping weeds… !!!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

TIME FLIES MAN CRIES !!!!

TIME FLIES
MAN CRIES !!!!


Returning home is a great feeling….
But as I was browsing through my childhood photos a thought struck me which goes as follows….


Browsing through the photos I wonder…
Phase of life with innocence and tender…

Getting things before demand…
And no pending errands…

As the years went by…
Sitting here today I sigh…

For things have turned topsi turve…
And suddenly I notice the oldies with scurvy…

Arey !! what kind of life is this… ???
It gives us hug of joy and pain’s kiss…

As those old ones also had their childhood…
And so will we have our days in wood…

Down the line life cycle would start a new…
For you’ll have to nurture your hybrid product dude !!

Again will come the up’s and down’s…
With the old tune and new beats of same song…

Who knows if we’ll be there to see our grand and great grand kids…
Suddenly there is a hard pat on my back and my mind seizes…

My sister points towards the playing- wake up sid…
And I tell to myself this is how population increases…


Folks don’t get confused…this is complicated expression of simple ides of how population increases…
Just imagine we were toddlers, tomorrow we’ll have toddlers and this will go on and on…
This might look casual in the initial stage… but when earth would start resisting such drastic rise in the human population… its rage would result in devastating consequences…
Hope the issues affecting the environment get resolved and MOTHER EARTH remains the way we got it… such that it can be gifted to our successors… for them to cherish its beauty and nurture it…. !!!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

MY CONTEMPORARY SHADES

He said I’m cute
But I said I’m not

<<<>>>

He said I’m pretty
I blushingly said I’m not

<<<>>>>

He said I’m kind-hearted
I pushed him back and said I’m not

<<<>>>

He said I’m understanding
I laughed and said I’m not

<<<>>>

He said I’m adorable
I jolted and politely refused saying I’m not

<<<>>>>

He held my hand and said I’m compassionate
My heart started panting but my brain stern with the answer made me say
I’m not………….

<<<>>>


Finally when it was my turn::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Hey I like you
And he said……………… I do not……………………………..

Continued thus he further added:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

We were nothing but friends
And will be together till the end


To which my heart cried:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Where did I go wrong
Why can’t he hear the unsung song

<<<>>>

Now it goes without any say
That amidst joy my aching heart sway

<<<>>>>

Wondering whether I was fast
Stirring my past

Chuck it dude the life has to go on
And for refusing the precious thing will repent the moron…….

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Saturday, March 20, 2010

YOU ARE GOD!


Close your eyes………..it’s dark!!
                        Open your eyes…………it’s still dark :-l
This world is filled with miseries, misfortunes, and, people who are responsible for it. I had only heard about emotional turmoil, until recently when I experienced it myself…. What disappoints me the most is the sufferings of my beloved and that of socially, economically and physically challenged!!!
Look around yourself, observe things, happenings is there anything that can turn your head over heels and trigger your inner voice to say, “GOD IS GREAT; THERE WAS AND WILL NEVER BE SUCH A SITUATION WHERE YOU WILL HAVE TO CONFRONT SOMETHING BEYOND YOUR RESISTANCE!!!!!”.
My mind cries loudly responding to this ‘’’’NOPE!!! NOT AT ALL ‘’’’’
It seems I’m standing alone without any support to cross a warpath which is ahead of me surrounded with fire from all sides…. L I’m helpless, disabled, thinking about the fact that though I know the nitty gritty I’m not able to support any cause, relentlessly want to do something but all in vain without any assistance.
My heart summoned my mind which was battling with its contradicting arguments… for a second my mind went blank synonymous to the land after being struck by any natural calamity. Suddenly there was this ray of light that could be seen from everywhere and… this ear soothing voice that in a gentle tone called upon me and said, “DEAR ONE!!IT WAS ME WHO CLOSED YOUR EYES WHEN YOU TRIED OPENING IT, SUCH THAT YOU DON’T SEE ATTROCITIES OF HUMAN AGAINST HUMAN BECAUSE YOU ARE MY CHILD AND I DON’T WANT YOU TO GET TENSED ABOUT THESE THINGSJJ”.
My immature mind which was dumbstruck at the sudden intervention started firing questions as if was some open season (this was bound since I was out of sorts). The conversation begins like this:
***
MIND: That super natural being created heart and filled it with love, such that only love sustains in the universe, and that people exhibits this love explicitly. Why is it that this love is over powered by hatred and anger. Why people turn cruel and just slaughter the neck of forgiveness and compassion. And moreover those who show love are termed as helpless and weak????
VOICE: Sweet heart, you have all the answers within since it is covered with the veil of ego, anger and desires I shall explain you everything. My child when you are in you in your moon walk I walk beside you and when difficulties dawn upon you I carry you on my shoulder… Oh loved one!! god is within everybody… Love is everywhere there is no null point in universe there is no void…. And as you said that the people who love are weak... tell me one thing is your mom weak…a priceless soul made up of love… a being who surpasses the entire shortcoming just to see you happy…???
MIND: (Not even feeling ashamed for have raised such a question it was inquisitively asking dumb questions in series) Whaat??? God is in everybody huh???
VOICE: Yes!! What is it that you pray during your difficult times???
MIND: (Confused at being counter asked) It depends upon the situation!!!
VOICE: Okay J and what about the person who suffice your needs then??
MIND: (Completely baffled) Can you explain your point briefly…..
VOICE: Child listen and understand okay……. when a person desperately needs a support from nowhere gets a call from his/her mom who enquires about his/her well being making that person ecstatic. That mother is none other than god… when a young boy needs money to start his business the father who provides financial assistance is god… when a gal gets lost and isn’t able to trace her way back, the stranger who helps her is none other than god…. In such situations the needs are fulfilled by those people who have got no issues regarding whatever happens to the former… why should they even be bothered…. “THESE HELPING SOULS ARE GOD”…… These Odd bodkins are filled with love, compassion and when their beloved are upset, they are put to task. Why talk about others will you enjoy with your friends if your sibling is sad in spite of the fact that you people fight like cats and dogs??? Will you not voluntarily take initiative to resolve his/her issue…. You will, right… then you also become that godly soul since you offer your shoulder to your brother/sister to place their head are cry their heart out!!! The moment you understand it your queries will be answered…….
***
This gentle voice had done the work of what a slight breeze does to leaves which rustle and sway in its direction. When observed intricately the love, happiness around me was visible without the fog of dullness and miseries…………. I got completely charged…Life Is beautiful and this universe is lovely…….. Let’s try and make this world a better place to live!!!!!!!!
For all those who are reading it don’t fail to recognize the odd bodkins who help you selflessly… and make sure you reciprocate the same!!!
Let peace prevail……………
SHWETA BALAMBAL